Friday, February 25, 2011

Twiddle Twiddle

Well, I said that the next time that I post would be when I have the baby. My impatience has got the better of me. Babies are being born in my family, among acquaintances and around the world, but not mine. I have recently heard that some moms are boilers and some moms are cookers. Apparently, I am a cooker. Not to be overly dramatic (which is so not like me), but I haven't actually got to my due date yet. We had a false alarm at 38 weeks and ever since then I have had a hard time concentrating and finding life to be satisfying. I feel like I have cleaned my house 5000 times in preparation, our meals that we had prepared to take to the birthing center are eaten, I have rearranged the baby room again, and every time I make contact with family and friends they answer the phone as though I have great news.

My sister Joanie: "Hi... she pauses for me to tell her I am in labor.
Me: "No, I haven't had the baby. I just want you to hang out with me.
Joanie: "O, ok." Disappointment ensues and she tries to act excited about hanging out with me and my endless complaints of being big, stretch marks, my failed attempts to induce labor, and my bargains with the baby!

Again, I think of the saying, "When we make plans, God laughs." I think God has a wonderful sense of humor, and even though I am feeling like life is unfair right now, I know that he has everything under control.

Haaa. I think of the conversation with my mom this morning. They are about the same as my conversations with my sister. Mom called me to let me know that today would be a good day to have the baby since she is done with mid-terms and doesn't have to go into work next week. Not to mention, my brother gets home from his mission in seven days. If only it were as easy as putting it on the calendar and informing everyone that I will indeed be having a baby.

Cody has given up in a way. He lost so much momentum in school last time I thought I was going into labor that I think he might be afraid that he will lose his groove if he hopes too much. He asks me daily..."You going to have that baby today?" After I sulk at the question, I usually get excited and say, "Maybe today!" =)

I continue to go to work (I have quit telling my students that I might have the baby soon), do my homework, wear the same two pair of pants every other day, bounce on my exercise ball and drink my pregnancy tea. Sometimes it is hard to concentrate on literature and grading papers when you can actually feel your stomach resting on your legs, halfway to your knees.

As you can tell, I am a bit anxious to have the baby, but all is well and luckily I have been able to sleep a bit better lately.

For reals now--I will not post again until the baby comes. I will be strong!

Enjoy your weekend!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

One day at a time.

This weekend we went to the birth center for a class about what to expect. I am also going to have an appointment every week up until I have the baby. Anyways, as I sat through the class I discovered how much I have learned over the past 9 months about my body, the child birth experience and post-partum. I am so grateful to my childbirth educator Katy Rawlins, the midwifes at Agape Birth Center, friends, family and the many books and videos available that have prepared me for having my baby. I am prepared as I possibly can be at this point. I truly believe that educating yourself about something as life-changing as bringing a human being into the world is worth all the time and effort. The midwifes compare it to a marathon. Would you run a marathon without training for the event? Not me! I do have a feeling that giving birth is something that I cannot fully understand until I do it for myself though.

My students are starting to ask more questions about my due date, whether I plan to bring the baby to class (No I am not) and noticing my huge stomach. My weekly workout comes from the four flights of stairs to my first classroom and the two down to my other classroom. I have been getting progressively slower at this ascent and descent, but I do it nonetheless. Sometimes I also get a longer walk from my office to the classrooms on days that it is warmer than -20 degrees. To accommodate my schedule I have been hoping to have the baby a week early. I am not getting my hopes up, but a girl can hope! All of my professors for my masters program are aware of my situation and have been willing to accommodate me whenever the blessed event comes. I am really grateful for that.

The nursery is filled with our packed bags for the birthing center, baby clothes, crib all made up, stroller, car seat, diapers, bouncy chair, high chair, rocking chair and many other wonderful baby things. I am ready to have a baby occupy this space that has been so carefully put together. Sometimes I look inside the crib and imagine my baby inside of it. It is a cool thing to think about. I usually do this on the long nights that I pace around the house all night because I have horrible heartburn, or I am so uncomfortable from sleeping. I am convinced that I would rather have a few hours of decent sleep each night with a newborn than no sleep with the baby smashing my insides.

Cody is getting excited. Today in church they blessed a little baby girl, and he kept telling me that we were going to have a little one soon. Then Tony and Audra came over with their new baby, and it looked so natural for Cody to rock the baby to sleep. I am grateful that Cody is so supportive and anxious to be a good daddy.

Outside of being consumed with the impending birthday, I am swamped with grading papers, making lesson plans, meeting with students, completing research for projects, reading depressing books for my American literature class, and trying to keep my husband sane on days where school is almost too much for him. I have been able to have some peace during all this because honestly I can only take it one day at a time. I think that is the way with everyone.

I hope that the next time I post I have pictures of a healthy baby, a proud dad, and a living mom. For the amount of anticipation and anxiety I have had over having a baby, I am think that things are going to go a lot smoother than I imagine. Cody always reminds me that millions of women have done this before and survived. I guess I have a pretty good chance. ;)
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