Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Beware the Gap

I am an idealist to a fault. This whole week I have pictured myself allowing Jane to try ballet for free during Kid's Week. Jane was excited and so was I. My ideas and reality seem to have a wide gap between them lately.

First, both my 1 year old and 4 month old fell asleep around 30 minutes before we needed to go. I got everyone into the car okay, but when we got there I walked into the building with 4 month old in my carrier, 1 year old in stroller and Jane and her friend holding onto me or the stroller. I was feeling good until we opened the door. A steep bi level staircase is between me and getting my daughter to a free dance class. We opened a door near the entrance on the main level, hoping that there was another dance floor. No, it was the back of a restaurant. I gave in and headed back to the van to drop off stroller. My 1 yr old did not want to get out of the stroller or put on shoes. After forcing her out of the stroller and carrying her alongside my 4 month old, we headed back to the dance studio once more. Once we got to the studio, the area was barely big enough to fit me and the four kids I had with me. I sign a waiver and Jane goes inside. She lines up against the wall to dance and begins to watch the other little girls and the instructor. I can see in her face that she is not going to dance. She looks scared and completely insecure. She does not dance once in the remaining five minutes of the class! Being late did not help our cause, but I don't think she would have even if we had been on time.

So, less than 10 minutes from arriving at the tiny studio, we all climb the stairs and file out. After wrestling kids back into car seats we are on our way with wide awake crying kids...Jane included since she was embarrassed in front of her friend for not dancing. Her friend told her if she wanted a cookie, she would need to at least try ballet. (No one had any cookies.) Jane cried harder and so did my other two. Jane's friend says she is starving, and I feel like joining the crying. 

After dropping off Jane's friend and lots more crying, we are home. Jane and Maurie are asleep and I am too worn out to attempt a transfer to the house, so I sit here in the car breastfeeding Brooklyn. 

That, my friends, is my day and most days trying to get one thing done. I do my errand running after Cody gets home these days. There is hardly anything worth going out for with three small children.

The moms of three were not kidding when they said that three kids tips the scale. 

Do your plans or ideas look different than reality too?




  1. Nancy Jenene BowmanJuly 27, 2016 at 3:00 PM

    So sorry.

    1. Thanks Aunt Janene. I hope you are doing well!

  2. Oh Lucy...I am so sorry. I remember those days well. My third was born when my oldest was barely 3 and the next one was 14 months old. It was honestly the hardest year of being a mother for me. I know it doesn't help now, but it does get better. Those three are now 8, 6, and 5, and I have added two more to the mix. :) Three is the hardest number. It will only get better from here.

    Thank you so much for your beautiful posts. Many of them have been very inspirational to me when I am struggling. You are amazing.

    From one of your FHE sisters at BYU-I... :)

    1. Heather! It is good to hear from you! It is encouraging to know that this was a hard stage for others too and it will get better! If you can live happily with five kids, I think I have hope ;) Thank you for reading! Hope all is well with you!


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