Thursday, March 16, 2017

A Me Only Vacation: Advice for Moms


A Me Vacation: Advice for moms

This last week was extremely difficult for me. Cody went to Las Vegas for the Construction Expo and spent some time with his family. It is always hard to hear about the fancy hotels he stays at, the expensive fine dining and this time it was really hard to know that he was getting to spend time with his family. I was so glad that he was able to, but it made me feel 10X more lonely and anxious. While he is away I face sibling fights, routines and all the basic needs of my children by myself. For some this is totally manageable, but for me, this time, I didn't always hold up to the pressure. 

It was both a good and bad eight days. The good was that I had so many wonderful people reach out to help me and the bad was that I still wasn't coping well with Cody gone. I won't go into the details of my struggle, but I will gratefully say that I am currently writing in the peace and quiet of a hotel room, completely relaxed. It is truly lovely to be ALONE. I love my family so much, but today was a reminder that I am person and I can take care of me too. I have a new perspective just simply by getting out of the house and out of mommy/wife mode.

For any mothers out there that feel trapped at home or feel overwhelmed by the amount of care you give for husband and children everyday, I understand! I wanted to share with you about my Me Only vacation because I think every mom not only needs one, but likely deserves one. If you think moms are selfish, just stop reading and you can believe what you want. If you think moms give most of their life to their family, keep reading.

I started my day having breakfast at a restaurant. I felt so alive sitting in a restaurant not needing to have a little one on my lap, quiet Maurie or ask Jane to sit still. The waitress smiled, went out of her way to be pleasant and brightened my day. I ate a yummy meal slowly, read my scriptures, and booked a hotel room. I didn't have to talk to anyone or please anyone...just me. I was not bored and I didn't wish there was someone there with me.

I went to a therapy session. This appointment left me feeling lighter and hopeful.

I went shopping. I bought something for a friend, a shirt for myself and curtains and paint for my home. There were no deadlines and I felt like I was accomplishing something without the frustration of crying babies or wandering toddlers.

I checked into my hotel; I actually giggled at the silence of the room. Everything was clean and I spent a whole hour working on a project--uninterrupted! I had a new space to look at and I don't have to clean it!

Isn't this a lovely day? I have only shared up until noon, but you get the idea--alone and productive. It still isn't over and I have to admit that I am not looking forward to my vacation ending. I am most looking forward to sleeping--like a rock and waking up to silence. No one is going to wake me up in the morning! I am only gone for one night, but this one night is filling my bucket. I have had the time and space to really think about the kind of person I want to be and how.

Also, I have taken some wise advice and got someone to watch my children for a chunk of time weekly, and I am looking into having someone clean my house every other week. When I first considered both of these ideas, I felt like I was being ridiculous, but now the more I think about it, the more I love the idea of lightening some of my load. Could my pioneer ancestors work circles around me?.Probably, but all I know is that I feel like I may be able to better face my life after this vacation and a few tweaks to my weekly routine.


This is how life looks NOT on a me vacation.
You may be wonderfully content with life right now and if you are, I am truly happy for you. For those of you that think going on a vacation by yourself sounds awesome, then it is probably time to see if it can happen. This has taken Cody's time/willingness and money, but the cost, I believe, will have lasting benefits for me and my whole family. (Cody is seriously amazing, by the way.)

Thank you Moms for what you are doing! I feel invisible a lot;  I want you to know that I see what you do and it really is beautiful! Remember (speaking to myself too): Present over perfect. Keep investing in you so you can keep giving to the ones you love most.

Best,

Lucy Jo

P.S. With a little time to go shopping on my own, I finally have some plans I can share with you about my basement redesign. My next post I will share the paint colors that I chose, the flooring I hope to get, a mood board with the style of decor I plan to get, and a before picture or video. Until next time, my friends.



2 comments

  1. I love this!!!! I can totally see the look on your face as you giggled at the silence of the room. Glad you're taking care of you. Also...the pioneers comment reminded me of how I've thought several times (since having Benjamin and getting little sleep) "Now I see the appeal of polygamy. They needed the help!!" Haha. Still not planning on participating in that though...😂

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  2. Seriously! I agree with you. I wish that our culture was more supportive of mothers. In some cultures everyone comes over to the new moms house and essentially hangs with them until they want or need some space. Motherhood can be lonely, but I hope you reach out whenever you need help. I have felt at times that I need to have it all figured out by myself, but there are so many people ready to help that understand, and I love the company as I navigate motherhood.

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